May 3, 2018
TALK ABOUT THIS // WEEK 2
Think back to the things you did as a teenager that you didn’t want your parents to find out about. Share a couple of those moments with your teen, so they know that mistakes (yours and theirs) don’t define the future. The next time your teen shares one of their mistakes with you, start your response with, “Thanks for telling me that.”
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10 NIV
DO THIS // MEAL TIME
During a meal this week, ask your teen what happened in their day that is worth celebrating. Don’t worry if they can’t think of anything. You can always ask them again in a few days. Sometimes it’s easier to focus on the negative. Keep creating space to share what’s going well. It’s a worthwhile practice that will help your teen develop a sense of gratitude!
Your cute innocent little children have deceived you. They are not who they appear to be! If you haven’t already caught them in a lie, chances are you will. And more than once—as toddlers, as young children, and as teenagers.
At first you might want to try to suppress laughter as you watch them unknowingly betray themselves.
But lying is a common childhood offense, much more so than you might guess, and they start testing their skills at a very young age.
One study found that some four-year-olds lied once every two hours and some six-year-olds lied once every 90 minutes. The study also found that 96% of all kids lie. (I bet the other 4% were lying about it.) Lying is actually a sign of cognitive development. In another survey, 80% of high school students admitted to lying to their parents about something “significant” in the past year.
Once they learn to lie, does it even make logical sense for our children to tell the truth when it might . . .
cost them something they really want,
affect their grade,
make them seem boring,
or get them punished?
Kids will inevitably want to choose the easier route and lie their way to safety, just as we are often tempted to do. They will lie to get what they want, but they keep lying because they want to stay in our good graces, and to avoid punishment.
Mostly they lie to protect a relationship. If only they could understand that the lie itself is even more devastating to the very relationship they were trying to protect. (If only we understood that too!)
Here’s the bottom line: Your child lies to you. All the time. Don’t let their innocence fool you. They’re still trying to figure things out. They make stupid mistakes and you should expect them to tell crazy lies too.
READ MORE ON THE PARENT CUE BLOG
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