TALK ABOUT THIS // WEEK 2

Model what it means to be for everybody, including your teen’s friends. Ask if they have friends who are struggling. (Don’t pry for details.) Pray for them with your teen, and then ask if they might want to come over to hang out sometime. Hanging out in your home could be just what a struggling teen needs to experience to feel loved and encouraged. 

REMEMBER THIS:
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10 NIV

DO THIS // MEAL TIME

Summer is a great time for dinner and a late night filled with way too much TV. Find a show you can binge watch together and order pizza from your teen’s favorite place. Let them pick all the toppings. Eat together and bond over whatever strang(er) things your teen likes to watch these days.

HONESTY: A BIG THING THAT'S BUILT IN SMALL WAYS
By Jon Acuff
Restaurants are one of the greatest places to teach your kids honesty. Amusement parks are good, too. A movie theater will work in a pinch as well. How? What do those three things have in common? Age restrictions.
Restaurant menus, amusement parks, and movie theaters are all places that will give you a discount if your child is a certain age. The kid’s menu is always cheaper than the adult menu. A toddler price is usually cheaper than an adult ticket to a theme park, and movies are less expensive for kids, too.
What’s interesting about those restrictions is how easy it is as a parent to be tempted to break them. Kids grow up quickly. One minute, your five-year-old is getting the cheap price at a restaurant and the next he’s six, and you should be paying the full rate. You’d never do this, because you’re a morally upstanding member of your community much like me, but you’d be surprised at how many parents blur the lines on this moment . . .

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REMEMBER THIS
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 NIV

DO THIS // MORNING TIME
Oh how sweet it is to treat your teen and kick off lazy summer mornings (or just the arrival of the weekend) with a donut run. Get up before your sleepy teen and bring home a dozen donuts. Leave the box on your kitchen table with a note to surprise your teen.

Some days don’t turn out the way you planned.
Some lives take a different course than expected.
I think that’s the hardest part of being the parent of a Junior or Senior. Or even a young adult.
You guide, you direct, you help where needed, but ultimately the choice is up to them.
You may think you have a part in the decision, but it’s up to them . . .
to look both ways in the intersection.
to do that project.
to dream of what they would want to do or be.
to take the SAT.
to make wise choices with their friends.
Ultimately it’s their choice.
Each age stage has its challenge:
The infant and toddler years—and the vigilance and work they require.
The elementary years—when you can breathe a little, and let them enjoy childhood.
The middle school years—when you ride a daily roller coaster of emotions, independence/dependence, and change.
The high school years—when they begin to pull away and establish their own lives.
But then you realize your time is running out.
And you can either react in fear and clutch them close . . .
Or you can begin to let them soar.
Even if they’re not ready to fly.
Even if they’re not ready to soar.
Even if you’re not ready for them to fly.
Even if you’re not ready for them to soar.
It looks differently for different kids, but you let them succeed or fail based on their own choices.
They’ll have to do it eventually. They might as well begin making choices while they are under your roof so you can help them learn from it.
And it will be the hardest thing in the world.
At least it is for me.
I’m a protector. I want to keep those around me safe from any kind of harm.
Letting them make those choices will wrench your heart sometimes.

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WEEK 3:Trusting God can be difficult—for teenagers and adults. During challenging seasons, it can be helpful to think back to moments God has come through for you and your teen. This week, ask your teen if they can remember any times God has come through for them or someone they know. Remind them that those moments are evidence that God can be trusted.

REMEMBER THIS:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 NIV

THEIR TIME
Whether it’s when you’ve got friends over for a summer BBQ or you’re on the phone with a friend, let your teen overhear you talking to someone about their accomplishments. Brag about their mad baseball skills, how great they are at parallel parking, or how they help out around the house. It’ll mean more to your teen than you think!

BED TIMELet your teen know you’re thinking about them before they head to bed. Leave something fun on their bed for them to find before they head to bed—a new novel for fun summer reading, movie tickets to catch a summer blockbuster with friends, or a new pair of summer pjs. Even something small can mean something big to
your teen.

So I’ve started this blog post like 14 different ways (not exaggerating). It just might be the most challenging one yet. Once you know what it’s about maybe you’ll understand why.
I’ve been told there are 936 weeks in the life of a child from birth to 18. We have a visual for those weeks here at  Parent Cue in the form of a jar filled with 936 marbles. The idea is that when you count the weeks you have left with a kid, you stand a better chance of making your weeks count.  As you take one marble out of the jar each week, the marbles begin going down, you see what you have left… you get the idea.
I have 3 kids and the jar of my first-born has 4 marbles in it.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Four marbles.
A cap and gown.
A prom tux.
Graduation announcements . . .
All reminders that there’s not much time left before the infant that entered my home 18 years ago will soon be leaving as a man.

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TALK ABOUT THIS // WEEK 2
Think back to the things you did as a teenager that you didn’t want your parents to find out about. Share a couple of those moments with your teen, so they know that mistakes (yours and theirs) don’t define the future. The next time your teen shares one of their mistakes with you, start your response with, “Thanks for telling me that.”

REMEMBER THIS:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 NIV

DO THIS // MEAL TIME
During a meal this week, ask your teen what happened in their day that is worth celebrating. Don’t worry if they can’t think of anything. You can always ask them again in a few days. Sometimes it’s easier to focus on the negative. Keep creating space to share what’s going well. It’s a worthwhile practice that will help your teen develop a sense of gratitude!

Your cute innocent little children have deceived you. They are not who they appear to be! If you haven’t already caught them in a lie, chances are you will. And more than once—as toddlers, as young children, and as teenagers.
At first you might want to try to suppress laughter as you watch them unknowingly betray themselves.

• They’ll tell you they didn’t eat the chocolate cake that is smeared all over their face.

• They’ll try to persuade you they brushed their teeth, but not let you smell their breath.

• They’ll say they found that trinket in the parking lot, even though you saw them eyeing it in the store.

Eventually petty lies turn into big whoppers and you may one day be heartbroken to realize your teenager is living a double life.
But lying is a common childhood offense, much more so than you might guess, and they start testing their skills at a very young age.
One study found that some four-year-olds lied once every two hours and some six-year-olds lied once every 90 minutes. The study also found that 96% of all kids lie. (I bet the other 4% were lying about it.) Lying is actually a sign of cognitive development. In another survey, 80% of high school students admitted to lying to their parents about something “significant” in the past year.
Once they learn to lie, does it even make logical sense for our children to tell the truth when it might . . .
cost them something they really want,
affect their grade,
make them seem boring,
or get them punished?
Kids will inevitably want to choose the easier route and lie their way to safety, just as we are often tempted to do. They will lie to get what they want, but they keep lying because they want to stay in our good graces, and to avoid punishment.
Mostly they lie to protect a relationship. If only they could understand that the lie itself is even more devastating to the very relationship they were trying to protect.  (If only we understood that too!)
Here’s the bottom line: Your child lies to you. All the time. Don’t let their innocence fool you. They’re still trying to figure things out. They make stupid mistakes and you should expect them to tell crazy lies too.

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