TALK ABOUT THIS // WEEK 1:
Your teenager is juggling a lot: school, friends, dating, social media, sports, clubs, family, and maybe even a part-time job. As parents, it can be hard to keep all of this in mind sometimes—especially when our own stresses feel so overwhelming. This week, instead of asking how their day was, ask what they’ve been worried or thinking a lot about. Resist offering advice unless they ask for it.

REMEMBER THIS:
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
 Philippians 4:6 NLT

 MORNING TIME
Create a “share your cares” text thread for your family. A couple of mornings each week, send a message asking your family what they’re worried or stressed about. Sometimes just sharing what’s on our mind helps alleviate anxiety. Plus, you can encourage each other specifically throughout the day.

“Mom, Dad, there’s something I need to tell you . . .”
When it comes to parenting, very few phrases strike terror at the heart of a parent. Its right up there with the question, “Are you sitting down?”
Both phrases typically follow not-so-good news and imply that the receiver of the news should be immediately prepared for the unexpected. Finding out something that you did not expect from your kids can be anxiety provoking and yes, could even trigger a physiological response such as fainting or difficulty catching one’s breath—hence the importance of having a seat close by.
While rewarding, the arena of pre-teen and teen parenting is fraught with difficult and sometimes disappointing situations. Children get injured, suffer minor illnesses, get heart broken, or even worse, engage in potentially addictive or sexual behaviors that could adversely impact their future.
The number one job of a parent is to protect. But the fact remains that you cannot protect your child from everything. In today’s fast-paced world, it is likely that your child will be faced with increased pressures and even more challenging situations than we adults could ever have imagined being a part of when we were at that age.
No parent was born knowing exactly how to respond to such situations. The best shield is being as prepared as you can possibly be. Consider this response strategy:

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PARENT TOOL // CRISIS GUIDE

With teenagers, the pressure seems to increase as their responsibility does. The potential for them to experience a crisis-- whether from bad decisions, rejection or trauma-- also increases. Sometimes it's easy to want to jump in and fix things, but supporting their efforts to handle their crisis helps them more.

Be aware of the signs that your teen is experiencing a crisis and don't take them lightly. Try to understand more than you feel like you know. See them for the adults they are becoming, be careful to respond, and offer more help if they need it.

We've attached the following Crisis Guides for parents of middle schoolers and high schoolers. We hope that you check them out and come alongside your kid(s) as they walk "through the darkness."

Have your kids ever hurt your feelings? I don’t mean their critique of your clothes, cooking, or stupid jokes. I mean the thing they say that just cuts to the quick.
A couple of weeks ago, one of my boys said something and it hurt so much, it felt like the wind was knocked out of me. He’s young enough where I don’t think the words were said with the intention to hurt, and he was oblivious to how hurtful his words were. But I am not naïve. I know a day will come when my boys will know the power of their words. And then they’ll use those words to cause pain on purpose.
Family is messy. At this stage, most messes come in the form of food under the kitchen table, diapers in a full diaper genie, and endless leaves, rocks, and flowers filling my counters. But at some point, I know the messiness will come in the form of verbal shrapnel. I know the messiness will be less literal and more figurative. (Or maybe with two teenage boys by that time, it’ll be both.)
And I knew from a couple of weeks ago, when the words from one of my kids hit me like they did, that I had better figure out what I was going to do when those moments come.

At the time, I shut down. I got him ready for bed and I read him books. I was present physically, but emotionally distant. But when it was time to pray, to sing, and close up the night, I realized something had to give. He may not have known I was holding back, but I did. And I decided then and there to do what felt like the exact opposite of what I wanted to do.
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I decided to move close. To not let careless words create a rift. To not let hurt feelings dictate my behavior towards him. To move towards the one I felt inclined to back away from.
I decided to be a peacemaker. 
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Shepherding the hearts of our kids is one of those daily behaviors that does more to refine and challenge me than anything else in my life. In my interactions with my kids, God reveals more to me about my own humanity than I care to know. Particularly in disciplinary situations.
One thing I’ve learned about kids is that I cannot control their actions. There are times when I try. There are times I guide, nudge, remind, even harass… yet, in the end, they decide what action they will take. Not me.
I don’t know about you, but that really gets under my skin. It’s something I have to actively submit to the Father asking Him for guidance and patience. Recently I was reminded of these words in Ephesians 4:29:
“Don’t say anything that would hurt [another person]. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.” (GWT)
It’s a timely reminder for me that my role as mom is to Fight for the Heart of my kids, to create a culture of unconditional love in my home that fuels their emotional and moral health. Approaching discipline in a way that is helpful takes practice, planning and patience.

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